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Friday, 8 April 2011

Resucitating chivalry...

 Where have good old fashioned manners disappeared to? Really, how often do you get a polite gentleman who properly uses his basic ‘please’ and ‘thank you’? With a quick glance around a crowded room you will notice that there are very few true gentlemen among us. I think this twisted generation has relegated chivalry to an archaic practice used by weak men.
The rude and impolite mannerisms get to a point when you want to walk up to them and say “What would your mother think!”… especially if he’s Indian, just mentioning his mother will scare him haha.

What you believe about your ‘knight in shining armour’ is true. Chivalry was associated with ‘knighthood’ and ‘nobility’. These knights were trained to be courteous, honorable and to protect the weak. They were of a prestigious and esteemed class of warriors and gentleman.

Then somewhere along the timeline things got a bit blurred.

Chivalry had nothing to do with women, which is how it’s perceived now. We think of chivalry as a way to show special courtesy to women. Sorry ladies, that isn’t chivalry. Typical of the female species to make everything about themselves. Fortunately I can’t get into trouble for saying that =D

Chivalry is just plain old good manners’!! It has nothing to do with gender! In contemporary times it’s also used towards women to show her that you treat all people with respect and dignity.
Be careful though ladies, chivalrous acts can often be imitated as a means to an end. In a ‘date’ type situation, ‘chivalry’ or ‘good manners’ have little or no bearing on how he interacts with other people. Remember that.

There’s also that fine line of “equality of sexes” that messes up everything! With feminism at an all time high, we don’t want to offend a lady, who’s perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Recognize at all times that the fine ladies that surround you have fully functioning mental capacities and that they should be respected. If she says she wants to do something for herself, let her!
Open a door for her, lend her your jacket on a cold night, be the valet and fetch the car if its raining… but don’t, whatever you do, don’t order her meal for her. Even if you do know exactly what she wants. It’s rude and condescending. Unless she asks for a suggestion, keep your opinions to yourself. There’s nothing more patronizing to a lady than a man who chooses for her. 

I also can’t stand people who are constantly swearing. Seriously, have you no other way of expressing your thoughts? Especially in front of a lady or in a workplace situation. You look unprofessional, arrogant and rude. It will not earn you any respect with your subordinates and colleagues either. I know I know, girls these days have foul mouths too. And to think they kiss their mothers with those filthy things. Tone down the language. All of you.
When you chew with your mouth wide open and forget your ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ not only do you look like an idiot but you’re telling people that you don’t care about anybody but yourself. Do that at your girlfriends house in front of her parents and watch her dad’s hopes and aspirations for his princess die. Right there. Choking at the dinner table. Probably on a chicken bone that you shot outa your mouth while you were chewing.

 I know someone’s gonna message me and say that not all ladies deserve to be treated like this simply cos they don’t appreciate it, they’re demanding, unappreciative bla bla bla…
A true gentleman is such a man regardless of the lady in concern.
I once got punched in the face for standing up for a lady. I had to get stitches across my forehead. Yes, that situation does fit quite aptly into this paragraph. Needless to say, many lessons were learnt that night.

Yes, there are many high maintenance, gold digging drama queens who can add very little to a relationship… or the bare minimum at best. If she doesn’t appreciate your chivalry and reciprocate, then you’re probably wasting your time. No wait, you’re definitely wasting your time. No guy wants to carry dead weight through a relationship.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not about getting something in return.
Ladies should show their appreciation, good manners & respect too. Buy him something he’s been talking about, make some chicken soup when he’s sick. It shows that you care about your partner & appreciate him. Relationships are a two-way street. Dont get taken for a ride dude. Also, that sentiment that women should be treated equal to men doesn’t mean you need to treat her like a dude. She may be just as capable as a man, but she is in fact a lady.

One of the finest examples of a gentleman that I have come across in this lifetime is a young man that goes by the name of Byron Georgiades (01/06/1984 - 15/ 03/ 2010).Those who knew him would know that this is no exaggeration. He’s one of those boys where upon meeting your parents, they would say to you, “Why can’t you be like this boy!” His manner of speaking, his politeness, courtesy, work ethic and humility were unrivaled. Don’t for a second think he was a pushover, do something wrong and you’ll be sure to get a good roasting for it. I once complained about the physicality of the action soccer league that we had joined…. Byrons response was, “Cmon bru, this is soccer, not ballet!” I never complained to him again haha.
A well rounded chivalrous gentleman and A true friend who taught me much.

Chivalry should extend into every day life. Respect your elders (so rare these days), hold a door open for somebody following closely, thank somebody for a service they provided, tip generously, when you motion for the bill at a restaurant there’s no need to shout across the room, whistle or click your fingers. Just a quick glance at the waiter, a little hand signal and it’s done. We’re forgetting how to communicate effectively.
Be polite, don’t lose your temper, don’t curse. Is it really that hard for you? By no means am I saying be a slave to etiquette. It’s just about treating others with respect.
Man up.

I know a few good men that are still out there. That can only mean that chivalry isn’t completely dead… but it is on life support.


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